A baby elephant marked Russell Brand's arrival. Photograph: Digital Zoo/Getty ImagesRussell Brand and Katy Perry tied the knot in India over the weekend at a luxury resort within a Rajasthani tiger reserve. The most extravagant wedding of the year reportedly featured: ▶ A Bollywood banquet with drummers, dancers, fire eaters and snake charmers. ▶ Camels, horses and a baby elephant for Brand's arrival, a tiger named Machli as a gift for his bride, and another that got into the wedding party to the horror of security staff. ▶ 1,380 cans of soft drinks and 4,800 bottles of mineral water. ▶ Celebrity attendees including P Diddy, David Walliams and Jonathan Ross. ▶ A fortune-telling parrot, who informed the newlyweds they would have a long marriage, children and, most importantly, successful careers. (William Hill is offering odds of 7-2 on a break-up before the end of 2011.)
Wayne Rooney. Photograph: Tom Jenkins Naturally enough, the first thing I did on hearing that Wayne Rooney had squeezed another £42m out of Manchester United was wonder what economists would make of such a jackpot. The second thing I did was read a bunch of monographs to find out. Yes, I'm serious. No, I can't help it. Stop shaking your head. Pug-faced footballers interest me about as much as conveyancing solicitors, who have had far more impact on my life. There was even a brief period at school when I thought this Man U everyone else was talking about was actually a Burmese military dictator. So if you want an in-depth discussion about whether Rooney just wanted to play alongside his mate Carlos Tevez, then my advice is to move on to the sports section, whose writers will take good care of you. What interests me is how a striker who has only scored one goal this season, who had a terrible World Cup, who is in what's widely described as the worst form of his career, can command a weekly wage reportedly between £200,000 and £250,000. And for that, economists have some answers. Even better, whether left or right, Chicago or Cornell, their arguments yield some common suggestions for what can be done about it. Best of all, in these austere times, those suggestions involve imposing higher taxes on the people who earn such huge amounts. We can even call it a Rooney tax, and demand that George Osborne introduces one in his next Budget. The first thing economists suggest about the explosion in players' wages is that there is little incentive for the clubs to stop paying out so much. Put bluntly, clubs pay top dollar for top talent because it keeps them at the top of the table. Studying the performance of 40 English clubs over two decades, the sports economist Stefan Szymanski found that their wage bills accounted for 92% of the variation in their league positions. In Italy, the link was a tad stronger at 93%. Set aside precise calculations of value for money, put out of your mind the (very real) prospect that a manager might overpay for a forward who then spends most of his time on the bench or in physio, and turn a blind eye to the recklessness that some clubs have shown in running their finances. The implication of this finding is clear: a club that wants to go places is under a huge amount of pressure to spend a lot on players. The same goes for directors hiring staff at investment banks and producers casting actors for a film. I'm lumping Cristiano Ronaldo together with Bob Diamond and Robert Pattinson for a reason: they're all examples of what economists sometimes refer to as superstars. And the second thing economics teaches us about superstar pay is that it is fruitless to work out whether Yaya Touré really is that much better than other midfielders. In The Economics of Superstars, published in 1981, the Chicago academic Sherwin Rosen argued that those generally agreed to be the best in their field generally scoop the vast majority of the rewards. "If a surgeon is 10% more successful in saving lives than his fellows, most people would be willing to pay more than a 10% premium for his services," Rosen wrote. The other point Rosen made was that when it became possible for more people to witness a brilliant performance, then the top performer would make even more money. And if you think about it, audiences from Nepal to Nebraska are better able than ever before to witness the same performances – through satellite TV, DVDs and iTunes. Rosen's work on superstars is probably the most widely quoted in the entire field – proof perhaps of his own theory. As a description of a process it is both ingenious and elegant. But it is less good for football and other team pursuits (banking, films) than solitary sportsmen and novelists. Still, here is the main point to take away from his argument: a significant sum of the wages paid to superstars is not merited solely by their talent, but by the simple fact that they are in pole position in their field. It is the rank that is being rewarded, not the person. Put that argument together with Moshe Adler's work on superstars. Adler believes that people are naturally attracted to what other people value – it gives them something to talk to others about, and a common culture. So it is that hordes of people will read the latest Dan Brown or teenage girls will all get into the Saturdays. Ranking, the spread of technology, and the development of a common culture: superstars benefit from all of these and yet have little to do with any of them. There is therefore no reason why film stars, footballers or financiers should hold on to so much of their earnings. The lesson from Rooney's negotiations, according to my economics monographs, is that we would be quite entitled to levy a higher rate of tax – call it the Rooney rate – on superstars. It's hard to see what harm it would do. RPattz is unlikely to throw in his job to work at Tesco. Tevez is unlikely to retrain as a corporate lawyer. As for Rooney, it might even encourage him to spend more nights indoors with Coleen.
Jedward obeying the 'Do not climb on luggage trolleys' rule at Heathrow airport. Photograph: Infphoto.com Airport security. A place where queuing is mandatory. Where answering, "Of course not, my people see to that" to the question "Did you pack that suitcase yourself, sir?" is not going to go down well. Where your stash of smack is considered neither creative nor cool. In short, one of the few places where celebs have to play by the same rules as the rest of us. No wonder so many come unstuck. The latest to fall foul of it are Jedward, who claim they are being repeatedly stopped for being famous – we're using that term loosely – rather than out of understandable curiosity to check whether they are, in fact, human. So on the off-chance you are a celebrity, here's a list of Don'ts to make your next flight easier: Don't look like an idiot If you really don't want to get held up, then don't backcomb your hair so it stands two feet in the air. Don't treat airport staff as if they were your own This one's for Diana Ross. Your minions might be grateful for the odd beating, but it goes down badly elsewhere. PS, the staff aren't trying to cop a feel, as you claimed in 1999: they are searching you for drugs and weapons. It's their job. Not that you know what a job is . . . Don't take any drugs with you As John Lennon memorably said when Paul McCartney was busted at Tokyo airport, "What the hell did he think he was doing? We've got people to do that sort of thing for us" (or words to that effect). Whitney Houston take note. Don't forget to count When a sign says "Only one piece of hand baggage allowed" it doesn't mean "Apart from Sharon Stone".
Gossip Girl stars Penn Badgley and Blake Lively have ended their three-year romance, a rep for the twosome exclusively tells the new issue of Us. OMFG! They called it quits in mid-September, amicably. "They’re professionals," an insider says of the pair. "They're still good friends and hang out on the set." The duo, who met as preteen actors in L.A., then began dating as their characters were dating on Gossip Girl, "kept this news to themselves for a while."
Blake Lively and Penn Badgley have broken up after almost three years.
Indeed, they have always taken a drama-free approach to their relationship, and that includes the breakup aspect of it. They just go about their business. Even those closest to the twosome may be shocked to hear the news. "Nobody on set had any idea," says the insider. "They're really just private." We're sorry to hear about this breakup news, although it does put a new spin on Blake's rumored hookup with Ryan Gosling earlier this month.
Teen Mom made Maci Bookout an overnight celebrity. Now the 19-year-old may be moving to Hollywood! An insider tells OK! that the mother of two-year-old Bentley is planning to relocate from Tennessee to Tinseltown - because of her new reality show in the works!
TEEN MOM SHOCKERS: They're a dime a dozen these days.
While an MTV rep says Maci Bookout "is not considering moving to L.A.,” an insider insists a show of her own, and the move to California, are imminent. We'll see what Ryan Edwards and Kyle King have to say about that one. In other Teen Mom crisis news, it's been more than six days since two-year-old Leah has heard from her mom, embattled rage-a-holic Amber Portwood. Not a single visit, phone call, text or even a simple “I love you” since the troubled reality star smacked around Gary Shirley once again last weekend. “She’s doing her thing,” says Gary’s pal. Hopefully her thing is therapy.
David Arquette won't stop blabbing to Howard Stern. For the second time since his separation from Courteney Cox, the D-list actor called up the radio host and over-shared about his personal life. Arquette admitted that waitress Jasmine Waltz is not the only woman he's slept with since leaving the actress. "I'm pretty sure I'm up sh-t's creek right now," he said after dishing on some Australian blonde. "After the first girl I slept with I was crying. I know that's not very sexy... what it does lack is that emotional love that I always have with Court."
Arquette also said he does not have a prenup with Cox, which could actually cost the actress half of her fortune because she earns a lot more than her rarely-employed ex.
Confronted with the report that Cox has also started dating - she's been linked to Cougar Town co-star Brian Van Holt - Arquette described the actor as "a cool guy."
"Everyone has their problems but she is incredible. Any guy would be blessed to be with her," he said. "I don't have any hard feelings for anyone. This is life and we are just going through it publicly."
Yes, David, that's because you keep calling Howard Stern!
Whether she's claims to be pregnant or in possession of a successful music career, Tila Tequila is typically the one making wild allegations. But a photographer that used to date this trainwreck is the one who came out this week and accused Tila of kidnapping his girlfriend and holding her at gunpoint.
According to legal documents obtained by Radar Online, Garry Sun alleges that Tequila broke into his Texas home last week and tried to extort Shyla Jennings, his lover. “Shyla was kidnapped from her home in Houston, TX and was flown to Los Angeles. Thien Nguyen [Tila’s birth name] drove to my home address with 4 armed men with guns threatening to kill me and threatened my father... who was home. This event later led to extortion in order to save my life," the documents read. Sun filed for a temporary restraining order yesterday. Tila denies these accusations and says her lawyers are handling the details. We might actually believe her for once. After all, it sounds like way too much planning and action for someone who spends most days in an Ambien-induced trance.
